Bend, Don't Break

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"Resilient people are like trees bending in the wind," said Steven Southwick, professor of psychiatry at Yale University School of Medicine. "They bounce back."

Do you bounce back when life throws you a curve ball or a co-worker throws you under the bus?

Resiliency is an extremely important quality to have as a leader, or really, for anyone living in the 21st century. Things are changing all the time. Our complex lives are teeming with surprises-waiting-to-happen. We've got to be able to refrain the unexpected and difficult situations in our lives in the most positive terms possible.

Some of us are naturally more resilient than others. But like most behaviors, resiliency can be learned, cultivated and mastered.

How resilient are you?

• Are you able to adapt quickly to new developments? Or do you cling to what was, even when it has clearly gone away?
• Are you a learner, always curious, asking questions? Or do you miss the lessons in everyday situations?
• Can you find humor in even the toughest situations and laugh at yourself? Or is your mood dependent on the conditions of the day?
• Are you pretty optimistic, believing that setbacks are just that -- setbacks? Or do you see temporary dilemmas as permanent difficulties?
• Are you comfortable with ambiguity and uncertainty? Or do you find it hard to sometimes be trusting and sometimes cautious, to sometimes take charge and to sometimes take orders?

If you couldn't answer yes to most of those questions, you might want to check out The Resiliency Advantage by Al Siebert. Dr. Siebert gives tips for learning to be more resilient, like:

1. Surround yourself with resources: people, tools, information links. You are not alone!
2. Learn to have fun. (Okay, even more fun than you're now having.) Resilient people do.
3. Pick your battles. Focus on what you can change and let go of what you can't.

Being closed to change and possibilities makes us brittle; being open to change -- resilient -- lets us bend.