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Get over being nice

Danny Beyer is a sales executive at Kabel Business Services. He is a serial networker and often speaks about networking tips to groups in the community.

A little over two years ago, Scott Siepker made a splash when his YouTube video, Iowa Nice, went viral. It was a scathing rant to all of those people who assumed Iowa was simply a flyover state good for nothing more than producing pork and corn. I remembered laughing so hard I cried, feeling a deep sense of pride in my home state, and quickly forwarding it on to about a dozen people. The video showed a new side of Iowa while hitting home the message that yes, we are nice.

While I will never knock someone for being nice, there is a time when one can be “too nice.” Over and over I hear people tell me that they don’t want to ask favors of their connections or seek help because they don’t want others to feel they’re using them. We don’t want to come off salesy, or conceited, or self-serving. In short, we want to be nice.

My best piece of advice – get over it. People genuinely want to help and the only way they can do that is if we let them know what we want. We have to share our goals, our dreams, and let others know how they can help make those dreams a reality. If you suffer from being too nice think of it like this: Imagine if a friend came to you and asked for the same favor you’re too nervous to talk to them about. Would you assist in any way you could? If the answer is yes than you should feel comfortable asking your friend to help. It really is that simple.

A network, both professionally and personally, really can help all of us achieve our dreams and desires, no matter how large or small. In the end it all comes down to sharing those desires with anyone who will listen. The more people who know what you want the better your chances are for success. Start sharing those dreams and get over being too nice. After all, we’re Iowans, according to YouTube we’re already nice enough.  

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